This place I found was a long-shot if I'd ever heard of one. After taking the highway thirty miles out of Tuscon and driving twenty minutes town a little dirt road where your only enemies are cow piles and horseflies, a little spot of light rises out of the ground and offers itself to you. It told me a few things, too, "come on in, our beer is the coldest in town," and "fifty cent wings all night long!" I said to myself, "you're only tellin' yourself things you wanna hear," and I slapped myself awake to focus on what was really in front of me, and what I found was not at all what I expected.
Out in the middle of nowhere there was a little bar with bikes lined up out front underneath a large neon sign that read "Jan'saloon." It was easy enough to tell what the owner was like; he was a Central European immigrant who's sense of humor was all but dead in this country, but I didn't let that stop me. I parked my car and walked inside, the two front doors were painted with a classic saloon-door effigy.
Once inside, I was taken aback by how remarkably similar it was to every other redneck bar I'd been to in the last eight years. Darts, pool tables, college kids; it was all the same, regardless, I walked up to the bar and ordered a drink. "Thank you," I tipped the bartender, because I expected to drink only one... maybe two before I split. I looked at the happy people, dissecting what made it possible, but not understanding, this looks like any other bar I've stumbled into before.
I sat there for a total of fourteen minutes, drank two beers, and was about to get another, but I decided it wasn't worth it, and I got out of my bar stool and walked into the men's restroom. I got down to the business at hand, washed my hands and began to walk out the door when it burst inwards and I jumped back to avoid one idiot being thrown around by another idiot. I put my back to the sink and leaned as far back as I could until they left enough room for me to slip on by, and when they did I walked out and headed to the front doors. Before I could leave, I turned to the voice of a woman standing and yelling at a man sitting down with seven empty beer bottles in front of him. I could only assume that was her date. She turned around and headed for the same doors I was standing at, so I walked out first and let her follow afterwards.
Outside, I stood some distance from the doors along the wall and called out to her once she emerged. "What was the deal with that?" I asked her, figuring this would be the best place to try and talk to her. "Nothing. Some drunken idiot is all." I chuckled and smirked. "This place seems to be full of them. Why are you here then? Isn't this place full of just about the same people you find anywhere else?" A small flash of light hit me from the corner of her eye, but she smiled a little. "Yes, it is. But it's the only thing around here." She turned her head to look at me, and I did the same for her. When I approached her and pressed my lips against hers, I was taken away to a place not far away, yet completely different from where I was moments ago; it was if the world had suddenly changed from winter to summer. When the kiss ended, we looked at each other in the eyes and just smiled. It was at that time three idiots stumbled out from inside the bar. Huey, Dewey, and Louie. I crossed my arms and looked at them for a second, they looked back, dumbfounded. I turned around and took my woman by the arm and walked to my car. I was done with idiots...
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